Derping and posing.
i think the best thing about this video is that he whistles the EVA theme at the end
i fucking kid you not
This is me, my name is Kelli and I’m 17-years-old, battling cancer for the third time. I have less than a year to live and the only thing I want to do more than anything before I die is meet Ellen. She’s my sunshine. She’s the reason I wake up everyday and I watch her show every morning. She just radiates so much joy and happiness and she gives me hope. It’s really my dream to be able to meet her. Unfortunately, due to a long waiting list, the Wish Foundation told me I probably wouldn’t be able to meet her within my short timeline. But I see miracles happen all the time.. therefore I won’t give up on my dream. I thought that maybe if this gets enough attention, someone from the Ellen Show would come across it, or maybe even Ellen herself will know of me and my wish to meet her. Please, help me make my wish come true.
I SAW THIS GIF OF EREN AND THIS WAS LITERALLY ALL I COULD THINK OF
I now see the world entirely differently
Disabled Young Adult Seeking Help!
I’m 23, disabled, homeless, and I desperately need help to pay for my medication that is running out this week.My name’s Shayne (Shay). I’m trans*/non-binary, disabled, have zero income/financial support, a service animal, and I have no place to live right now.
I suffer from a number of disorders and syndromes including:
• Ehler-danlos syndrome
• cold urticaria
• adrenal insufficiency
• Hashimoto’s thyroiditis
• postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome
• poly cystic ovarian syndrome
• neuropathy nos
• major depressive disorder
I’m largely immobile and cannot work. Neither one of my biological family’s homes are a safe place for me to go. This is for a multitude of reasons.
I was promised to receive my share of an apartment deposit (total was $800) from my ex. Along with the payment for a parking ticket ($100) on my father’s car that they had gotten.
I was kind enough to understand financial stress and allow spread out payments.
When I had found out that they had been lying/cheating all 2.3 years we’d been together, they decided that “I didn’t deserve it anymore.” In addition to losing that money, I lost them and their family as my only support system.
I have no money apart from some pocket change. I’m currently living in a motel paid for by Salvation Army until Tuesday morning, and after that my service cat and I only have my car to live in.
Being in Wisconsin and sleeping in my car is dangerous because of the cold. Worse yet, something in my car is misfiring, meaning that until I can get it fixed with an electrical tuneup ($300 estimated), it’s practically useless and even more dangerous to live in.
To give you an idea of my expenses: my anxiety meds cost $1 flat through DHS, which is a blessing, but my pain medication is extremely important for me to have and runs around $89. My total cost of medications per month is around $175 and total cost of living is about $300, not including rent or personal items.
I’m asking Tumblr for help because I don’t know what to do until my disability determination is made, and that could take a very long time.
I thankfully have food stamps, but I need to find a way to keep paying for a place to stay that’s heated and safe, and most importantly, my medication. These past months have been extremely difficult and I need help.
I have a few friends from college willing to take my service animal and I in, but this would require my car fixed and all medications sorted out as they live across the country.
I’m willing to show my medical record, prove of income, anything to prove that this is genuine.
If you’re able to donate to help me, please, please message me.
I can now take PayPal donations:
Directly on the Donation Page
Or send it to
Any help is appreciated so much and once I am able to feel like I am in a safe and healthy environment; I am confident that I can win the fight against these illnesses. I promise that whatever happens; I will spend my time creating some sort of non-profit with the goal of helping young adults in similar situations.
Thank you again,
I’m running our of meds starting the day after tomorrow. Please anyone….
Signal boost. Followers, please donate if you can, and signal boost!
-Dany (who wishes with all her heart that she could donate and will pray for OP)
One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)
Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.
Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.
Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.
Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)
Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.
Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.
Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.
Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.
Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love” (via dissapolnted)
he’s being fucking paid to be pretend to be a dragon
that’s 7-year old me’s fucking dream
His smile is somewhere between demonically terrifying and really really hot.
I just keep watching…
basically, anyone reading this knows that tumblr + studying = difficult. we’re all procrastinators. so i thought i’d share my favorite ways to crack down, not suck, and make it through finals week. you’ll need
- this or this. it’ll whip your ass into gear. you name a list of websites that distract you, set a timer, and bam. no more hour long study breaks. the best - or worst - part is, it can’t be undone by the application, by deleting the application, or by restarting the computer. you just gotta wait, and if you’re going to wait, you may as well study.
- goals. when you sit down to study, write down everything you’re going to do. then do it. aimlessly staring at your books won’t do shit.
- something to listen to. i suggest movie scores, song covers by the vitamin string quartet, or white noise.
- a queue. if you’re really obsessed with keeping your blog up to date, set aside some time, fatten up your queue, and let your blog run itself for a few days.
- breaks. during your breaks, dance, run around, work out, go for a walk, talk to your friends, call your mom. going back on the internet is an easy way to get out of the mood, so i wouldn’t suggest it.
- tea and coffee - if not for the caffeine, then for the feeling of cozying up with your text books and feeling studious.
- a place to study. it doesn’t matter if it’s in a coffee house, a library, or your kitchen table. as long as your bed’s not in sight and tempting you into a nap, you’re good.
that’s all i’ve got. i’d try to think of more, but that, my friends, would be procrastinating. off to study.
bringing this back because IT’S THAT TIME AGAIN
so i put together a couple of sites and links that are pretty helpful for studying, school etc, :) all the links are free and work and are all pretty useful so enjoyyyyy - ellie x
- maths help
- calculators (includes graphing, geometric, stats etc)
- microsoft word equivalent
- coffee shop sounds
- how to study guide
- essay structure guide
- help in a ton of subjects
- calm/nature sounds
- download free books
- maths knowledge site
- tips for a productive study break
- falling asleep tips
- how to google
- how to wake up in the morning
- improve your studying skills
- teaches anything
- thousands of quick and easy snack recipes
- cheap & healthy snacks
- quick and easy soup recipes
- chocolate muffin in a mug tutorial
- study snacks
- 40 on-the-go breakfast recipes
- macaroni cheese / mac&cheese in a cup
- yoga poses
- how long to nap
- go to a quiet place
- the thoughts room
- take a guided relaxation
- compliments generator
take a few minutes break
THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT POST!!!!!
There’s nothing to see here. Just keep scrolling.
I want to be nowhere and somewhere at the same time. I want to lay underneath all my blankets and stay there for a long, long time. I feel guilty for feeling this way, but I can’t seem to pull myself out of it. It’s a unending cycle of self loathing. There’s a list of things needed to be done and none of those things are being done because I’m stuck here wishing I could just disappear. Can I just…
I’m sorry I’m one fucking entire wreck. I’m sorry I don’t love myself more. I’m sorry that I’m a selfish bitch. I’m sorry I’m a hypocrite. I’m sorry to all my friends who see this side if me. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to hide it better.
most common thought: damn haha im going to have to deal with that sooner or later
"My brother killed himself
on the twenty-eighth Thursday of last year
and I missed four days of work
and my mom wanted to know ‘Why’.
he was always a fan of beauty
but what he did
was not beautiful at all.
And last week I got the news
that one of my good friends from high school
except this time
she’d gone too far
and now she was gone.
And I had a hard time falling asleep at night
and her mother
hugged me tight
and thanked me for coming to the service
but I did not
want to be there at all.
This is not
The girl down the street
would’ve turned 21 last year
and I can scarcely imagine
the wild times she would’ve
But she is buried six feet deep
after falling nearly 300
and she did not leave a note.
This is not
My freshman year of college
and my roommate was beautiful
and how I wanted to be just like her.
But she wore herself down
till she was
and if you blinked
you had to go and find her all over again.
So now her parents are no longer supporting her college tuition
but are paying her hospital bills
watching their daughter crumble.
This is not
So y’all can take your narcissistic
of self harm and eating disorders and committing suicide
and shove them as far up your ass
as you possibly can.
Starvation is not beautiful.
Killing yourself is not beautiful.
is not beautiful.
This note I am writing
is not beautiful.
you are beautiful
and it’s about damn time you start believing it.
You aren’t a real college student until you cry like a bitch over an assignment
I’ve apparently been a college kid since 9th grade, then
i always think “if people want to talk to me they will” which is my reasoning for never really starting conversations so i’m permanently thinking no one wants to talk but what if they’re sat there thinking the same and it’s just this cycle of silence that never gets broken because i’m too stubborn to just put myself out there
having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. it’s the fear of failure but no urge to be productive, and it’s wanting friends while hating socializing. it’s like running a marathon with the willpower of a corpse because you want to get to the end but you also want to sleep and evaporate into the soil and become compost for snails and flowers because then at least you’re useful